I DID IT!!!

Yes'm, I FINALLY got a job! I had two interviews on Wednesday and felt really good about both of them. The first one was for Fineline Pacific, a granite/countertop seller in Lake Oswego. I'd be hired to do admin/sales work. The second one was for Planet Beach Contempo Spa in Hillsboro and I'd be a spa consultant (By the way, the contempo spa was AMAZING!!!). The people who interviewed me were really nice and easy to talk to. I didn't feel nervous at all. I heard back today from Fineline Pacific and they offered me the job! I'll be working the front desk, answering phones, doing scheduling and handeling the showroom. Eventually I might be moved up to sales but that would be after awhile. I start on the 13th and it's Mon thru Fri, 8am-430pm. Lake Oswego is only about 35-40 min drive from our house and really the drive isn't bad at all in the morning. The only downfall will be the drive home. I figure after awhile, if things work out, I'll possibly find a place to move there. I'm REALLY excited and hoping everything works out well.

Just thought I'd fill you guys in on the good news - I'm exhausted so I'm heading to bed. GOOD NIGHT AND I LOVE YOU ALL!! :)

Suga Lumps

This video has been the highlight of my week :)

Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo

I decided to try out for America's Next Top Model. Now that they are having auditions for women 5'7" and under, I have a chance!! YAY ME AND MY SHORT GENES! They're going to be in Portland on March 14, 2009. I highly doubt I'll get it but at least I can say I tried right?! I just think it'll be hilarious if there are a ton of "little people" there. Could you imagine how great my day would be whether I get it or not?! :)

Anywho... unemployment has been quite an adventure. I spend most of my days with Tiffany and Sophia. Sophia is growing SO incredibly fast. She's already filling out and has a bigger stomach and 3 chins. It's adorable! At night I usually just watch tv and fill out job applications. My life sounds quite interesting eh?! I've recently become obsessed with the show TWO AND A HALF MEN. It's freakin hilarious! I love the little kid Jake and how much of a smarta** he is. He reminds me so much of my dad, Ella and um, myself. Some of my favorite quotes from the show are:


Jake [about his lunch]: An artichoke?
Charlie: Maybe you can trade it for something good.
Jake: With who? One of the slow kids?
Charlie: Give it a shot. Tell him it's a puppy

Jake [talking on the phone]: Yeah, we just got my uncle out of jail. It was cool. I saw a real pimp.
Jake: Ok, I'll be your pimp if you be my beotch.


hahahaha - that just makes my day great. Good night folks - I'll be sure to update you on my modeling adventures with the little people! :)

My week in a nutshell...

Sophia Grae Gniewosz was born on February 11, 2009 at 5:27pm. She weighed 4lbs 15oz and was 16.75" long. She was doing really great on Thursday afternoon and was wide awake and alert. While I was holding her on Thursday night while she was sleeping, she stopped breathing and turned all purple and ever since then has been having episodes. I can honestly say, I've never been so scared in my entire life. She's currently in the NICU at OHSU and getting a little better day by day. That is great news but it has been a rough road. I know if she is half as stubborn and strong as my sister, she will be just fine and pull through this. I hate seeing her all hooked up to the monitors but I'm glad she is there so she can get the care and treatment she needs. I can't wait until she can come home and be with her family. *I LOVE YOU SOPHIA*

Today, I found out my friend from high school, Brian Fairbrother, has passed away. He was leaving a party last night and was driving drunk when he hit a pole and then a tree. He died instantly. There were three other people in the car with him. Two of them are in comas, one's organs are failing and the third person was released from the hospital today. It came as a complete shock. My friend Ashley who has become pretty good friends with him had no idea and of course, I called her in a panic to see if she was okay and to make sure she wasn't hurt as well. She had no idea and I was the one who broke the news to her. I wish people would realize that drinking and driving is NEVER worth it. *RIP Brian Fairbrother* You are extremely missed and loved. My prayers are with your family and loved ones during this tough time. Thank you for being such a good friend to me in high school and thank you for making my best friend so happy. GOD BLESS!

I know God will never give anyone more than they can handle but I'm asking, PLEASE, can we just cool it down a little. I'm not sure how much more I can take. As Van Morrison has said - "There'll be days like this."

I love little minds

Tonight my mom, Ella and I all went to Trent's indoor soccer game in Salmon Creek and it was amazingly fun. I forgot how much I missed soccer. Oh the good ol' days. Anyways, so like always, Ella and I were annoying each other almost all night- you know - hitting, making fun, teasing - the good stuff. On the way home, Ella decided to tell my mom and I all about her first kiss. HAHAHA, I'm cracking up just thinking about it. So here's her amazing story...

"I had my first kiss when I was seven." - "Who was it Ella?!" - "Um, Papa..." - "No it wasn't. Who was it really Ella?!" - "Matthew." - "Matthew?! Did he kiss you on the lips or the cheek?!" - "Cheek. For Valentine's day he brought me a music jewelry box and a bear and flowers. Aww... Matthew...We were at the park hanging out and he pushed me on the swings. Then I pushed him on the swings. Then he pushed me down the slide. Then I pushed him down the slide. Then he bought me a soda. Then we went behind a bush and he kissed me on the cheek. Then we cleaned rocks. Then we went behind the buildings to look for dead rats. We poked them with a stick and one was missing a head. Then we went to his garage to play baseball. Then we went to see the 3-legged dog. It was at the neighbors. Then we rode our bikes together. Then he was about to kiss me on the cheek again and my mom was like "ELLA!!" and I was like "MOM!!" and she was like "ELLA!!" and I was like "MOM!!" then she told me to come inside and I was like "ugh...mom." So that was my first kiss."

My mom and I were laughing so hard she could barely drive and I almost peed my pants. It's amazing how real that is and how she thought it was so romantic. I love the fact that my niece is 7 years old and one of the funniest people I have ever met. I absolutely adore that kid despite the fact that we get on each other's nerves and drive each other absolutely crazy.

Also during Trent's soccer game, my mom and I were talking about how it sucked cause we couldn't hear what they were saying due to the amazing plastic walls and kept SO many balls from hitting my face, and Ella said they should use sign language or speak in foreign languages. Where does that kid get that stuff?? She's amazing and made me laugh so hard tonight.

I love my family to death and don't know what I'd do or where I'd be without them. :) Today was one of the better days.

I myself am made entirely of flaws stitched together with good intentions

So the stuck in a rut feeling just won't go away. No matter how bad I want it to, it won't. No matter how hard I try to get out of it, I can't. Instead, it has gotten much worse.

Here's a little word association that helped cheer me up a little... Feel free to fill it out yourself if you want.

red hot-
what's hot? sense of humor - respect - humility - love for family - loves kids - nice abs - light eyes - dark hair - athletic

what's not? rudeness - disrespect - smoking - cussing - bad teeth - losers

feelin' blue-
what makes me sad? broken hearts. being sick. worrying about money. loneliness. poverty.

tickled pink-
what makes me smile? family - friends - starbucks - good music - long drives - twilight series - shopping - vacations - good photography - babies - helping others - manicures - new hair do's

green w/ envy-
what am I envious of? my niece's innocence. my sister's ambition. my father's courage. my mother's strength. people who aren't afraid to take risks. people who are completely, head over heels in love and happy.

orange crush-
my longest crush? david beckham - soccer player with a NICE body...MmMm yes...
my best crush? brooks barkow - best friend who taught me a lot
my worst crush? zac and drew - horrible, psychotic boyfriends
my current crush? a boy unaware of what he has

black&white-
I am a daughter. a sister. an aunt. a friend. a niece. a granddaughter.
I am strong. hopeful. accepting. understanding. faithful. loved.
I myself am made entirely of flaws stitched together with good intentions.


That's all I have for today. I'm leaving you with a quote that really made me think - Enjoy!

"You have to be strong for yourself. You have to know that you are a good person and a good friend. What is meant to be will end up good if what is not won’t. Relationships are worth fighting for but sometimes you can’t be the only one fighting. At times, people need to fight for you. If they don’t, you must move on and realize what you gave them was more than they were willing to give you. Hopefully, people realize great things when they come around and don’t lose something real. Always fight, until you can’t anymore, and then be fought for."

I want to know...

"I want to know what you ache for and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart’s longing. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow if you have been opened by life’s betrayals or have become closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain mine or your own without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it. I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own. I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself. I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not pretty every day and if you can source your own life from its presence. I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back. I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away. I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and truly like the company you keep in the empty moments."